The unimaginable happened yesterday. I was too shaken up to blog about it, but I’m feeling a bit better about things today.
I dropped the bun-buns.
He fell from a great height, from my arms, onto his face. He hit the concrete pavement. I can still hear the sickening thud of his head against the ground. I can still see his little body lying there helpless.
I keep replaying the scene over and over again. I don’t know why. Trauma does that to me. It keeps playing again and again in my head, trying to resolve itself. It’s like I’m trying to find a different ending, to reframe what happened, but it’s no good it’s the same result every time. I drop the bunny and he falls onto his face. Smack. Crack. Bad mummy.
It was an accident. Obviously. But I can’t help blaming myself. We were on our way to swim class in the city, and running late. Bunny LOVES his swim class, and he was excited as we rushed up to the building, me carrying him on my hip, whilst shouldering the big swim bag. I had my eyes straight ahead looking at the door, thinking we’re going to be late, we’re going to be late, we’re going to be late, when BAM! My legs hit a massive concrete block stupidly placed in the middle of the pavement, and the bunny went flying out of my arms and hit the deck, head first.
He didn’t move for a split second, during which time I screamed and felt sick to my stomach, and then I grabbed him and held him tightly, begging sweet Jesus please let him be alright.
The rest of the morning is a blur. Someone called an ambulance. A crowd of strangers appeared in a circle around me, all offering advice, ice packs and god only knows what. Some of them were probably rubber necking. Looking for a bit of accident action.
Then a fire engine showed up, and after that it was a string of strange uniformed men asking questions, and all the time the bun-buns is screaming blue murder like I’ve never heard him before, and shaking like a leaf with convulsive sobs and the side of his face looks like someone hit him with a sledgehammer. The skin has come off, and his eye is swollen and his cheek is dark purple and red it’s all so horrific I can hardly bring myself to look. And I’m supposed to answer questions???
After the fire truck, an ambulance arrived and then we were rushed to an emergency hospital for children, and bunny started to look like he was falling unconscious, in between these great body shudders, which freaked me out even more. But within an hour, he calmed down enough to nurse, and another hour after that and he became curious about his surroundings – electrical wires and flashing lights galore! A kind of bunny heaven.
Pretty soon, he was flashing his winning smile at all the pretty nurses, and even the doc got a grin or two. At that point I knew he was going to be alright. He scuttled around the floor after a couple of hours, getting into mischief, and after some more tests they released him to come home with me.
Thank God.
I learned a few lessons in all of this:
- Babies are resilient creatures. They bounce back. The doctor told me that people drop their babies ALL the time, which was news to me, but I guess he would know. Not that it makes it OK, but it makes me feel a teensy weensy bit better to know that at least I’m not the only one who fucks up so royally.
- Slow down, and don’t carry so much stuff when carrying the baby. I’m not talking just about physical stuff, but psychological stuff too. Stay present, and breathe into the moment, rather than hurrying ahead to what may or may not be true (i.e. being late for swim class).
- LOOK where I’m going.
- Don’t EVER take life for granted. It can all go pear-shaped in an instant, so appreciate all you have every moment of every day.
Sat 18 Apr 2009 at 2:30 am
I remember the first time I had an accident with my son. We were playing on the bed and laughing and having a fantastic time when he tried to jump off. I went to stop him and he kinda swung downwards…banging his face on the bed-rail.
He only received a bump, but it was less than an inch away from his eye. I remember feeling that day that I’d ALWAYS be as careful as possible with him. I mean, an inch over and his eye could have been seriously damaged…and it would have been my fault.
The good news it that you now have a story for when he gets older. If I had a nickel for every time my parents told me that the way I act was because they dropped me on my head as a baby….well….I’d have a lot of nickels.
Sat 18 Apr 2009 at 4:17 pm
I’m glad to hear he’s ok.
It’s true. People drop their babies all the time.
The first, and unfortunately not the last, time I dropped Kaleb was right in the middle of him nursing. I was sitting on the bed holding him and when I stood up thinking I had him nice and secure in the crook of my arm. He slipped right out and landed on the floor. Hard. I think that was when he was maybe about 5 weeks old. We went to the ER and the dr on call checked him out and he was fine.
Sat 18 Apr 2009 at 8:14 pm
Bald Guy – that was a close call with the bed rail! And yep, you’re right, I have a good story to tell bunny later. Hopefully that’s the worst one.
Nakia – yikes girl! That’s crazy the way he slipped through your arms! At 5 weeks! You must have freaked. But the good news is he was fine, just like my bunny.
Sun 19 Apr 2009 at 6:29 am
Bless your heart sweet mama! I’m surprised that with carrying twins for so long that I have not done the exact same thing. But I DO understand the horror of your child being surrounded by paramedics with sirens and the crying and the helplessness. Chase had a seizure at age 1 and I lost it, thought he was dying and totally went into such a blur that I didn’t even realize that my neighbors had come and taken Ethan so that I could focus on Chase.
Of course, he was fine, but my images l carried for a long time. Just keeping holding him and loving him as you always do. They are resilient. And you are a fantabulous mama!!!
Tue 21 Apr 2009 at 3:16 pm
Holy shit woman.
I’m SO glad he’s okay. That’s so terrifying. I can say I’ve never dropped Benjamin (but definitely should have or could have on many occasions). But at least your son still has his two front teeth.
; )
Hugs. and this is such an awesome story I’ll be linking to it from WeTV tomorrow.
Tue 21 Apr 2009 at 11:09 pm
Raina – thanks for the advice! I know what you mean about the images. They’re still playing in my head, though thankfully bunny’s wounds are getting better.
Ms Single Mama – thanks for the link!
Mon 27 Apr 2009 at 10:49 pm
First, thank you for this open, honest post. I think ever mother has a story like this (mine is similar to Canadian Bald Guy’s)… but you had the openness to put it down. Really, this is so helpful to everyone.
Big hug to you and Bunny.
Tue 5 May 2009 at 8:03 pm
[...] quite as bad as the day I dropped the bunny, but the wounds look much worse with several different bloody grazes on the top and side of his [...]
Tue 2 Jun 2009 at 6:29 am
I feel somehow relieved to hear I’m not the only one either…. I dropped my 3 month old yesterday. I had her in her carseat on the stroller, but had not strapped her back in after picking her up for a diaper check. Well, when I tilted the stroller to get up the step to my house, (me not paying attention, because I had the dog, my phone rang, and so on), I just saw her hit the concrete porch in front of me. It happened so fast, and I can’t remember if I managed to stop her fall a little, but nevertheless there she was, laying on the concrete!! My heart absolutely stopped, and she was crying hard. I picked her up, and saw the side of her head was red from the impact, but no bleeding. We rushed her to the ER. I cried the whole way there, and tried to keep her awake in case of concussion. Once finally there, the Dr checked her out, and had her on observation for 3 hours, and then sent us home. That was the worse day of my life, and I will learn from this to pay absolute attention at all times no matter what.
The Dr also said that when they are so little, the head isn’t fused yet, so they can take a lot more trauma than an adult person. She’s my little trooper, but I never want to be that scared again, ever.
Thank you all for posting…I feel awful about what happened but somewhat relieved I’m not the only one.
Wed 22 Jul 2009 at 6:47 am
I’m so embarrassed to say that I dropped my 9 mo. Old baby yesterday. We were playing in the bed and she just disappeared! Just like that, in a quarter of a second, she fell into the carpet…she cried for a couple of minutes, but she was fine after that….(thank God every second)
I called the hospital and told me to observe her closely to see if
A) She can follow my finger with her eyes
B) See if she recognizes people
C) If she vomits
D) Has trouble waking up
E) Cries for a very long time
Other than that, the doctor said that it was safe to keep her at home if none of these symptoms showed up. I hope this helps someone. I found this posting in another website and really helped me:
‘No harm done, so move on and enjoy the joys of parenting. Otherwise, get a chalkboard and write out: I’ll never elevate Baby beyond 6 inches above any surface. I will never ever ever multi-task while holding baby. When I am holding baby I will ALWAYS maintain three points of contact, including the safety harness.’